he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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