textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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