I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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