your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize