My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
