I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
