What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
