Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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