Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
we should paint friendship bongs
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