All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
