If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
