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You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
