so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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