I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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