Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize