bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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