You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
