I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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