Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
