dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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