I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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