she looked like the before picture.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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