And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
