There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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