I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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