So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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