Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
