Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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