I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
