non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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