Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
