Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
