You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
