This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
