I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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