Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
COCAINE IS GR8
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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