If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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