And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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