So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
