just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Last time i carry you out of a forest
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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