Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
