Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So much rum. So many feels.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
