i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
