Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
