i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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