Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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