Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
