he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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