what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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