im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My day in three words: secret purse cake
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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