can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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