it wasn't lemon gatorade
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
