I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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