i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
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Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
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If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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