I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
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Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
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Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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