Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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