so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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