let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
