My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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