If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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