Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
