He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
