dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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